EMBRACING CHRONIC OPTIMISM

23 JANUARY 2012

2012-01-23T00:14:00.003+08:00

God’s Lent Child

I’ll lend you for a little while, a child of mine, God said

For you to love the while he lives and mourn for when he’s dead.

It may be six or seven years, or forty-two or three

But will you, till I call him back, take care of him for me?

He’ll bring his charms to gladden you and should his stay be brief

You’ll always have his memories as a solace in your grief.

I cannot promise he will stay, since all from earth return,

But there are lessons taught below I want this child to learn.

I’ve looked this whole world over in my search for teachers true

And from the folk that crowd Life’s lane I have chosen you.

Now will you give him all your love and not think the labour vain,

Nor hate me when I come to take this lent child back again?

I fancy that I heard them say “Dear God, thy will be done.

For all the joys this child will bring the risk of grief we’ll run.

We will shelter him with tenderness, we’ll love him while we may

And for all the happiness we’ve ever known, we’ll ever grateful stay.

But should the angels call him much sooner than we’d planned

We will brave the bitter grief that comes and try to understand.”

~ Author Unknown~

Stay calm, my heart.

Wisdom and patience be my bedfellows.

Humility be my friend.

Acceptance, dry my eyes.

Ya Allah, I beseech you.

Mohammad Ayaan Bin Mohammad Fadzly.

We missed you today- what was to have been your date of birth.

Loved, for always.

Al-Fateha.

IN MY HEART

2011-12-26T00:12:00.003+08:00

My son,

The moments pass

I feel empty still

The hurt has mellowed

But the longing remains

A piece of me died with you

The emptiness of my womb

Rings with the echoes

Of you.

I miss you so.

Ayaan, I miss you so.

-Mama-

HAPPY 6th...

2011-12-16T05:01:00.002+08:00

And even as we turn six today, my thoughts go back to you.

Reflecting on the year and remembering those so loved and now lost.

Praying for a better year in 2012.

AL-FATEHA

2011-12-12T23:48:00.002+08:00

Kiyai Kassim Bin Adnan.

This truly has been a year of losses.
Innalillahi wa inna illaihi raaji'un.

WHAT NO ONE UNDERSTANDS

2011-11-26T02:50:00.002+08:00

'A voice in her head tried to soothe her with well-intended but misguided consolation.

You'll have others, Insha'allah. You're young. Surely you'll have many other chances.

But Mariam's grief wasn't aimless or unspecific. Mariam greived for this baby, this particular child, who had made her so happy for a while.'

-A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini-

I MISS YOU

2011-11-26T02:35:00.006+08:00

Mohammad Ayaan Bin Mohammad Fadzly

26 November 2011

Two months on and I am
Still remembering you

Grieving over what was lost

Still missing you

My son

In my heart, you remain.
I love you, Ayaan.

Al-Fateha.

AL-FATEHA

2011-11-16T04:40:00.001+08:00

My FaceBook update read: 0415hrs.
That was the exact time that I received news that my maternal grandmother had passed on.

Al-Fateha to my beloved grandmother, Hjh Saleha Bte Yusof.

Nenek, I miss you.

IF TEARS COULD...

2011-10-26T03:21:00.001+08:00

If tears could build a stairway
And memories were a lane,
I'd walk right up to Heaven
To bring you home again.
No farewell words were spoken
No time to say good-bye.
You were gone before we knew it,
And only God knows why.
My heart still aches in sadness
And secret tears still flow.
What it meant to lose you
No one will ever know.

By: Unknown

My dearest son, it has been a month, to the day, since you came into and departed from this world. Like a whisper in the wind, carried away into the expanse that is God's knowledge alone. It feels like it has been forever.

Ayaan... The name that I chose for you carries with it what you mean to me. My gift, from God. And yet why, do I find it impossibly hard to even utter your name? To whom do I speak with, of this sadness that I still feel, that still cuts unseen by all others, to whom do I confide in, this utter desolation, this absence of feeling that I am starting to be all too familiar with, in the absence of you.

Sleep eludes me almost as well as the memories I have of you, my son. And that I suppose, is what devastates me...my lack of memories of you. And yet, I miss you so.

I put more effort into laughing out loud. It stops the questions people have poised at the tip of their tongues. 'Are you ok?'

The truth is, I do not know, my son. Will I ever be?

I do not know, my son.
I do not know.
My son.

I miss you, Ayaan.

REMEMBERANCE

2011-10-01T07:05:00.001+08:00

JUST THOSE FEW WEEKS

For those few weeks-
I had you to myself.
And that seems too short a stint of time
To be changed so profoundly.

In those few weeks-
I came to know you...
And to love you.
You came to trust me with your life.
Oh, what a life I had planned for you!

Just those few weeks-
When i lost you,
I lost a lifetime of hopes,
plans, dreams, and aspirations...
A slice of my future simply vanished overnight.

Just those few weeks-
It wasn't enough time to convince others
How special and important you were.
How odd, a truly unique person has recently died
And no one is mourning the passing.

Just a mere few weeks-
And no "normal" person would cry all night
Over a tiny, unfinished baby,
Or get depressed and withdraw day after endless day.
No one would, so why am I?

You were just those few weeks my little one
You darted in and out of my life too quickly.
But it seems that's all the time you needed
To touch my life so deeply-
And give me a small glimpse of eternity.

Credits to Author Unknown

* I stayed up all night grading papers and watching Big Momma's House 2, giggling at Martin Lawrence's jokes and funny talk...

Then I realized that something felt wrong, something felt different... And it took me a moment to realize.

You used to keep me company...
You were with me when I crept out of bed to escape from your sisters.

I miss that feeling, Ayaan. I hate that I'm not with you and that I didn't even have a chance to say goodbye. That the only memory, the final memory that I'll have of you will be seeing the mortician carry you down to the morgue in a brown box. I miss my son. And no one even knows just how MUCH. And no one can help heal this pain. The only one who can, is gone.

IN A LIMBO

2011-09-30T13:37:00.003+08:00

It's been but four days since we bade goodbye to you.

The pain is still raw, the grief still keen.

For you were so small, too early lost.

And no words seem to accurately express

The gaping hole you left behind.

Al-Fateha:

Mohammad Ayaan Bin Mohammad Fadzly

Born asleep at 22 weeks and 5 days old.

Delivered at 11.45pm on Monday, 26th September 2011.

Forever loved and in Mama's heart.

My boy.

AND THEIRS IS NOT TO QUESTION WHY

2011-09-20T15:10:00.000+08:00

The decision has been made. All that is left is to arrange for the proper procedures and then it's over.

I've tried desperately to keep from questioning, from wondering why and yet, human that I am, I've not succeeded. Frailty, thy name is human.

I have to have faith. I have to live knowing that this is but part of a bigger design, a bigger purpose.

Having The Alyas forces me to be strong, to think beyond the person that I am, to be the person I need to be for their sake. They're salvation in the middle of uncertainty, they make me remember to laugh, to store away the pain for another time, another place.

I have been blessed.
'tis not my place to wonder why.
'tis not my place to bewail Fate.
'tis not my place to be despondent.

'tis enough, God, that I entrust myself to you, Insha'allah.
For in you, I will be made sufficient.

HEY YOU

2011-03-26T23:53:00.005+08:00

King Of Anything

Keep drinking coffee, stare me down across the table
While I look outside
So many things I'd say if only I were able
But I just keep quiet and count the cars that pass by

You've got opinions, man
We're all entitled to 'em
But I never asked

So let me thank you for your time
And try not to waste any more of mine
Get out of here fast

I hate to break it to you babe
But I'm not drowning
There's no one here to save

Who cares if you disagree? You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So, you dare tell me who to be
Who died and made you king of anything?

You sound so innocent
All full of good intent
Swear you know best

But you expect me to
Jump up onboard with you
Ride off into your delusional sunset

I'm not the one who's lost
With no direction, oh
But you'll never see

You're so busy making maps
With my name on it in all caps
You've got the talking down
Just not the listening

Who cares if you disagree? You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be
Who died and made you king of anything?

All my life I've tried
To make everybody happy while I just hurt and hide
Waiting for someone to tell me it's my turn
To decide

Who cares if you disagree? You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be
Who died and made you king of anything?

Who cares if you disagree? You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be
Who died and made you king of anything?

Let me hold your crown, babe

This post is dedicated to the friends we once were and the friends we now are.

Sad that this it what it has been reduced to.

Grow up.

IN MY MAKEUP POUCH

2011-03-26T10:05:00.004+08:00

Doing up this post, I've suddenly realized that while I am quintessentially a hoarder and a pack rat, I'm also quite ironically, a day-to-day utilitarian.

Wow, I can be quite a bundle of contradictions, can't I?

Here's what my daily makeup pouch looks like and the list of items in it :)

Allergan Prefrin Liquifilm Eye Drops for Red Eyes
Revlon ColorStay Soft & Smooth in 'Pecan Pleasure' (225)
Revlon Super Lustrous in 'Rose Velvet' Creme (130)
Silky Girl Moisture Rich in 'Sensual' (28)
AVON Simply Pretty Clear Mascara
CANMAKE Color Stick in shade 06
Hair ties
A small hair clip
Netted zip pouch

VOILA!

Of course, I have tons of makeup items at home, stored safely in a cupboard but these are the essentials that are ALWAYS with me.

Someday, I shall share what I have in my makeup cupboard :)

EEEEEE= EMCEE

2011-03-25T22:10:00.003+08:00

Eeeee!

The odd tanline that I currently have on my arm as a result of wearing a 3/4 sleeved top to an outdoor event...

BUT, that is not all.

I have suffered more than just icky, yucky looking tanlines....

I also have

Yeap. This.

Ouch.

And for that reason, there's no chance in hell I'll ever again emcee under the noon sun.
That happened today, from 8am till noon.
X___X

STOP.PERIOD.END

2011-03-19T20:55:00.002+08:00

And so it begins today.

I am saddened by it and yet heartened to know that all is well.

This is truly a case of the mind being willing and the universe conspiring against it.

Do I really want more?

Yes.

No.

Maybe.

But for damn sure.

TWEETING ALL MY THOUGHTS

2011-03-18T00:14:00.003+08:00

Cathartic? Yes. Albeit very, very mildly so.

Oh, to be able to write and say what I really want to say, without fear of repercussion, without having to think about who might stumble upon my tweet and such. *sighs*

Now it just feels right to blog and save all the entries as drafts, doesn't it? :)

WOW

2011-02-04T15:48:00.005+08:00

Has it really been so long since I stopped blogging?? Yes, apparently.

Loads to say but there is an inherent inability to articulate thoughts into words. Shall let pictures do the talking.

Man, I'm getting old. And the girls are growing SO fast it's a shame. Wish I could capture the essence of youth and bottle it, for posterity.

THE ALYAS

The way they were. Picture taken off of their passports.

Adany in a kiddy ride at Parkway Parade

Adyna & Adany

Adyna and her 'tilt-my-head-and-melt-Daddy's-heart' pose.

First movie ever, with Mummy. "Shrek Ever After" which was followed by a bout of high fever.

AL-FATEHA

2010-04-23T19:38:00.003+08:00

Today, at around Maghrib, my brother received a call. My cousin passed away.

The aunt who called with the news could barely speak for all the crying. And we all understood why.

My cousin was only 24, as young as my sister is.

She passed on, leaving behind a 3 year old son.

I struggle to see the silver lining. Perhaps there is not one to be found. Only faith is left.

Al-Fateha for Masruroh Bte Musa.

FULL HOUSE - GEU DEH JI GEUM

2010-04-18T14:09:00.007+08:00

Come now inside my heart,
You're telling me about love
I pray that this isn't a dream
My heart keeps telling me that
i shouldn't let go of you and that i should be greedy
it's saying stuff that's stupid

Your love that came accidently..
it wasn't strange at all
But I didn't know that our promised relationship/fate/destiny would become love..
Sometime later, I have to send you away..
but I don't have the confidence to do that
You found the place that I was alone at..

Now you're gonna go back
I knew it was going to happen, but why does my heart hurt
Now you're gonna go back to your place because you found the love you wanted
I have to send you, a happy/bliss person, away with a smile
You tell me about Love while lookin into my eyes,
but it's a lightly passing by (small/grazing) love

I'm so happy right now, it's like i'm dreaming a dream
Now you know that from the beginning we were in love
You found the place that I was alone at..
Now you're gonna go backI knew it was going to happen,
but why does my heart hurt
Now you're gonna go back to your place because you found the love you wanted

I need to send you, a happy/bliss person, away with a smile
Can't you give me your love,
Can you really not/Is it Impossible?
But now I love you so much...

MY CURRENT OBSESSION

2010-04-18T09:40:00.007+08:00

Omg.

Ok, not too crazy about the fingers touching the lips pose but it's RAIN...so yeah.

성적 매력이 있는

Why the man wears shades I will never know...

Blinded by his own hotness is my guess!

I love his nose and his lips but I'm just crazy about the SMILE!

Imma be honest and tell it like it is. I think I'm obssessed with RAIN BI! *rotf and dies*

OH MY GOD, RAIN!

2010-04-17T12:26:00.003+08:00

And like The Sister said, 'YOU! Of all people!' lol

But really.

R.A.I.N.

JUNG JI HOON RAIN

Gorgeous.

Arrasso? *lol*

LOOKS LIKE...

2010-04-16T07:12:00.012+08:00

If I get pregnant with a boy anytime soon, I swear. I'mma be starin' at these pictures D.A.I.L.Y! *shrieks*

I mean, seriously...I think I've developed a fetish of sorts for what The Husband calls the 'small-eyes-sharp-chin-ese' look or something like that. Maybe he's right. But I do honestly think that with my track record of The Daughters as babies, it's all too possible that I might eventualy have a Chinese-looking son.

Oh please,God...If there's gonna be a baby boy in my future, please, please, pleeeease let him resemble one of these guys! (LOL)

*Rain*

Have you seen this guy?! It should be illegal to go out in public looking the way he does.

*Rezky Aditya*

Oh god.

*Rick Yune*

Where does one even begin?

It's either I'm having a mid-life crisis or these guys are giving off major pheremones! Excuse my temporary aberration from sanity, people.

But honestly, holy crap! LOL.

UP!

2010-04-01T20:00:00.002+08:00

Adyna the 'climber' as opposed to Adany the 'mover' :)

CALLED UP

2010-03-29T11:25:00.002+08:00

to the P's office.
Suddenly I have a tummy ache! :s
Hope it's nothing serious.

UPDATE:
Alhamdulillah!
As of April I've finally been promoted to the next substantive grade.

I SAW TODAY

2010-03-28T01:47:00.005+08:00

the happiness in your smile

the life you have ahead

the passion in your life

the joy you bring

the smiles to them

most important in your life

as it has always been

and I know

I am

Happy for you

Happy for

I knew you

I know

You

are happy

and I know still

I can love and not love you

I can love you and love

everything that I am

without you

everything

that I am

I am

without

you

I seeked to find

you

who were

you

before

A lifetime now.

I'm happy for the person

I saw

Today.

THE ALYAS

2010-03-25T20:52:00.003+08:00

One weekend morning. Very basi faces, I know :)

Have no idea what the Little One is looking at but it 'sho looks damn fascinating to me :)

Adany: Smile for the camera Dyna! *grits teeth*

Adyna: Huh? Say what?

THE LITTLE ONE

2010-03-25T10:52:00.006+08:00

She kneels on the floor.

She's poised to explore.

She scrunches her nose.

She kisses, after a fashion.

She creeps up on things.

She crawls.

She stands pretty tall.

And now,

SHE WALKS!

AL-FATEHA

2010-03-13T23:49:00.003+08:00

Today, at 0915hrs my aunt Jamilah Bte Ibrahim passed on at the age of 52.

Her passing affected me in a way I never imagined she would.

Let's just say that God willing, it'll happen by the time I turn 30.

Suddenly, that does sound do-able.

Today,
I pray for strength to carry out what I must.
I pray for fortitude to forget
I pray for contentment,
not comparison.
I pray for me.

Insha'allah.

PATIENTLY PAINTING

2010-03-12T12:39:00.003+08:00

Arranging her painting implements in the order she likes before embarking on the actual painting.

Managing a smile for her mummy whose silly finger appears in the frame(!)

The Little Big Girl, painstakingly trying to make sure she colours within the lines.

WEIGHT! WEIGHT!

2010-03-09T10:35:00.002+08:00

Ok, so I turn 30 in a couple of months, no sense in denying that.
And yes, my girth's not what it used to be.
In fact, in the dying light, my girth could be mistakened for the horizon, if you catch my drift.

So here I am, sedentary as usual in the staffroom, waiting for my next lesson and feeling luxuriously lazy because the March holidays are but a few days away and my week at work ends in a day's time *yaay*

I'm thinking that it'd be nice to be able to shed some weight and hope never to be the cause of an ex-boyfriend going "OMG! What happened to her?!"

And since weight-loss is best dealt with in small yet specific, attainable goals, here are mine:

1. Leg lifts to tone up thighs (2 sets of 15 reps at the work desk every two hours)
2. Tummy crunches (2 sets of 15 reps in a day- once before bed and once after getting up)
3. Squats to tone the glutes (2 sets of 15 reps in between lessons in the Literature Room)
4. Hydrate! Hydrate! Hydrate! (1 mineral bottle per day in school 7am-2pm)

And while I'm not obsessed with my weight, i AM constantly bemoaning the fact that my clothes do not fit as well as they should and used to and also the fact that my gut spills over the waist band of my pants *Oh, the horror! The horror!*

Let us see how this works, shall we? :)

MUSIC MONDAY

2010-03-08T12:53:00.000+08:00

VINDICATED

2010-03-08T12:46:00.003+08:00

Remember back when I posted this?

Well, I really was not being mean because it honestly did happen. And it happened again today.

Like, good LORD.

Like my sister said- tragedy.

Like, WTH, MAN?!

And oh boy, am I GLAD I've not let myself go completely...lol

Right.
Now if I could only get proper undergarments so my boobies look perky! :)

TRUE OR FALSE?

2010-01-27T10:38:00.002+08:00

The Not-so-Little Girl

What can you expect for your baby?

She will be a very passionate person. (True. She is so passionate she bites!)

She is fiercely competitive, motivated, and driven. (Fierce. No doubt.)

She is very bright but is easily bored or distracted.

You won't have to worry about her being a couch potato. (She LOVES potatoes!)

She will be very athletic or physically active.

She is emotional, sensitive, and affectionate.

Her image and good looks are very important to her.

When she gets to be a teen she will be the one that refuses to wear anything that is not hip. (Right now she abhors having her clothes changed and struggles like a little spitfire when we remove her clothes. Given the option she'd crawl about the entire house togged in nothing more than her diapers. Yikes!)

She will burn a whole in your pocket if you let her.

She will drive you crazy wanting the newest fashion trends.

She enjoys listening to music, dancing, and loves a good drama (whether its fiction or real life). (Oh, yes! Hence The Tiny Thespian. Her mission statement: Why bother crying if you don't drama mama your Mama to giving in.)

She will be very ambitious and will do well in life.

(Will climb any structure for attention!)

She adapts well to change and can function well in just about any setting.

She is good at rolling with the punches and nothing gets her down.

(She rolls alot, and pucnhes. And BITES.)

Career choicess may include actor/model, doctor, lawyer, advertising executive, or politician.

(Actor?! Lawyer?! And to think The Daughter could possibly be a teacher. *faints*)

YOUR FIRST TIME

2010-01-10T10:02:00.005+08:00

...entirely in the hands of a stranger.
...learning to cope without a familiar face.
...in school.
...anywhere, alone.

and I feel, for the very first time in my entire life, that I've failed you.

I'm being optimistic that school will get better for you, but I worry. Not cause I don't trust Teacher Dee, but just cause I'm your mummy and I'm having a LARGE dose of separation anxiety.

No one ever tells you that it's really, physically painful to have to prise yourself away from your crying child who is clinging with all the might a three year old can muster, to the grille gate of her school.

No one ever tells you that you can prepare your child for school; have her involved in all aspects of school-going decisions, let her pick the bag she wants to carry, choose the route she'd like to take to school and even the hairband she wants to use for the day and still have her have the mother of all meltdowns at the school gate.

No one ever says that it's ok to feel really really really rotten when your daughter screams and wails for you way after the school door closes and she's in the care of the teacher but you can still hear her scream and sob.

No one tells you that the first day of school is traumatic. For the mummy.

But I am telling you exactly that.

First day at school can kill you. Or at least your resolve. I know it nearly did mine.

My daughter cried for me when I left her in school.
I cried for her when I got home.
There's no other way to describe it- separation anxiety does not even begin to scratch the surface.

So listen to your gut. You know your child best. Ask yourself if all the trauma is worth it for your child. Will your child get over it and learn to love school as much as that schmuck of a smug-mummy-needs-a-slap-in-the-face claims of her child? Perhaps your child will. Perhaps she won't. But this first day of school will set the tone for the rest of the year's school experience (at the very least) before hopefully, you yourself become the smug-mummy-needs-a-slap-in-the-face.

I'm no expert but these are my THREE stay-sane tips for Mummy's first day at (play)school:

1. Steel your heart (or amour plate it).

There is nothing more traumatic for a mummy than to hear her child cry and scream in fear or panic, and not be able to do anything about it. If your child doesn't cry, good for you, so stop being a schmuck about it!

2. Don't stand and stare at a crying kid (unless it's yours)

You wouldn't like people to stop and look at you while you were having a meltdown now, would you? So stop being an insensitive clod and let the child have some dignity in her moment of distress.

3. Teach your child to befriend the new kid

It's terrifying enough to be only be at eye level with people's knee caps- it's even more terrifying when none of the knee caps even look vaguely familiar! Having a friendly face smile at you from amidst the forest of knee-caps can surely only be reassuring. The new kid will be indebted to your child for it.

Update:
Adany now enjoys school and hops, skips and jumps on her way to school everyday. She has a best friend- Kaylyn and loves her teacher, who she emphatically insists lives in school. Like the happy trooper that she is, it is now close to impossible to stop her from singing the Happy Teapot song :)

Videos later!

SO PROUD

2009-12-10T23:11:00.004+08:00

The Little Big Girl is nocturnal like me. She seems to derive boundless energy from the moon and stars in the darkened sky and only settles down to sleep when she's really knackered at about 2 or 3am.

Today, she fell asleep at about 9.30pm *gasps* after haranguing me for her nightly dose of milk. But that's not why I'm so proud of her.

I was getting some work done online (Ok, FINE, I was bloghopping!) when I heard faint sounds coming from my room. Both girls sleep there with me, by the way. At first I ignored the sounds but less than a minute after, I was positive I heard sobbing. Now, unlike her elder sister, The Not-so-Little Girl is a relatively light and early sleeper. She knocks out between 0845 and 0930 every night without fail and gets understandably cranky otherwise.

So I take a peek into the room and bless her, there was The Little Big Girl quietly sobbing into her pillow! I pick her up and in whispers, managed to elicit that she'd had a nightmare and, not wanting to wake her little sister up
("Wait mama hard (to) put her (back) to sleep"),
decided to cry quietly into the pillow when she realized that I was not in the room with them.

Awwwwwwww! I love my daughter so much :)

I AM BLESSED

2009-12-08T15:21:00.004+08:00

...and if you find that I repeat this too many times, it is not out of pride and the intent to cause envy but rather out of a sheer sense of love and happiness that I get when I look at you.

And sometimes, when the happiness unbounds with such ferocity, I reign it in with the following quote that I humbly borrow from Khaled Hosseini:

'Happiness like this is frightening. They only let you be this happy if they're preparing to take something from you...' (The Kite Runner)

I love you, my Alyas :)

http://www.truly-free.org/

HOT STUFF :)

2009-12-02T10:28:00.003+08:00

Yeap, with the exception of man on extreme right (yuck! sorry!)...these men get me all SEXCITED! lol

Kwakwakwa!

Copied and pasted from an MSN conversation

xxxx say:
its a project that they started where you record yourself calling that person and saying i love you

xxxx say:
quite cool

xxxx say:
argggggghhh!

xxxx say:
sometimes i think it's so sinful to want for something to be more than what it is...but at the same time i'm thankful it's not cos it would be so HARD to decide. this is the one person that could still break it for me. Like I would honestly REALLY consider dropping everything for. i swear. such a loser i am.

xxxx say:
i just wish i was OVER him.

On a private note:

Sometimes it's just better to dream of the unattainable than to have your fondest wish just elude your fingertips.

SOMETHING'S GOTTA GIVE

2009-11-30T11:12:00.004+08:00

Truth? Or fallacy?

I cannot for the life of me figure how some people can claim to have it all; a family and kids, a job, a hip social life, personal time etc. For me at least, I can't be all that. Tried it, couldn't quite cut it.

And I know exactly why for me, something's just gotta give. You see, I procrastinate. Big time. Like now. But then again...

EXCUSE MY FRENCH

2009-11-27T00:26:00.005+08:00

The French mani has got to be my favoritest mani E.V.E.R.

There's just something so put together about it that is just so attractive to me. Here's a home-made French mani I put together a few months back... *wistful*...just love how the mani elongates my fingers and make them seem more (dare I say it?)...elegant! :)

Do ignore the visible nail line and the unevenly applied white tips.

And oh, see the solitaire I was wearing in the pics? I lost it :(

HORRIFIED SCREAM

2009-11-25T19:06:00.002+08:00

Lost all the stuff stored in my damn ipod (classic)!

Mortified does not even begin to describe how I feel.

Why?
Why??
Why???

Dammit.

MUSIC MONDAY

2009-11-23T13:42:00.001+08:00

LOVING MADLY

2009-11-22T12:00:00.002+08:00

my girls

Adany Alya at 3 years 3 weeks and 4 days old

Adyna Alya at 6 weeks and 1 day old

MUSIC MONDAY

2009-11-16T10:09:00.003+08:00

OPEN HOUSE

2009-11-07T13:23:00.004+08:00

The Literature board, renewed and revamped after about a year or so of neglect.
I just might consider adopting the board :)

HAPPY 3rd SWEETHEART!

2009-10-28T07:25:00.004+08:00

Loving the balloon and the pressies much :)

Special thanks to Mak Aqilah & Pak for the balloon!

Sharing the limelight with Nenek and Atuk

The Little Big Girl- Adany at three :)

You are so loved.

MONDAY MUSIC

2009-10-26T09:07:00.002+08:00

To my daughters.
Remember.
Today.
Forever.
Nothing can come between us.

5 MONTHS ON

2009-10-21T23:08:00.004+08:00

The Little Girl is 5 months

and I'm loving waking up each morning to this...

WHERE'S EVERYONE?

Thanking God for all his blessings :)

GOOD TIMES :)

2009-10-20T09:11:00.006+08:00

Missed Monday Music post this week as it was a LOOOOOOOONG weekend :)

Am glad though for the Monday missed; being at home with the my girls in the morning and then to the library in the afternoon with The Daughter and then falling asleep with them in my arms.

AND, having decidedI'm going on part-time teaching next year, here's to many more of such days :)

Wheeeeeee!

MONDAY MUSIC

2009-10-12T10:48:00.002+08:00

Have been contemplating a dedicated Monday post to chase away the dreaded Monday blues for a long time now... :)

Enjoy!

And yeap, back in school yet again. Boo.

PET PEEVE!

2009-09-23T01:35:00.001+08:00

Do NOT like to be randomly tagged in online pictures!
Do NOT like.
DO NOT LIKE.

*grumbles*

PUSHING BUTTONS

2009-09-10T00:33:00.009+08:00

Ever had a moment where you were thinking kind thoughts/wanting to do kind things for people when WHAM! the asswipe(s) just does/says something that unleashes your Inner Beeyatch, or at least threatens to?

The Sister and I totally had that moment with a couple and their two young kids at a taxi stand in the East yesterday.

We were basically having a simple conversation while texting on our phones and yes, having a bit of a giggle and a laugh when the couple and their kids lined up behind us. The family ahead of us in the queue got their cabs after a few minutes of waiting and just as they drove off, The Sister and I agreed that we'd let the couple behind us take the next cab considering that they had a sleeping baby in a stroller and a toddler who looked like he was going to fall asleep on his dad's shoulder at any time.

Now, as a mother of two who cabs everywhere, I can empathize with how difficult it is to wrangle a stroller, a baby, a toddler and bag(s) into a cab and I thought it'd be something that the family would appreciate considering that it was getting late and also since The Sister and I weren't in a particular hurry, we could afford to give way.

But then it seems, we made an intolerable mistake- we didn't push the taxi call button(!) I don't know about you but honestly, like The Sister said after we got into the cab, 'The taxi will come when it comes.' and I did not feel it necessary to press the damn button since the cab flow was quite regular. But hey, that's just me. Normal, don't-do-things-unnecessarily, normal me.

So imagine a thin, no, scrawny, pock-marked man, a chao Ah Beng past his prime, probably brow-beaten and potentially cuckolded by his lard-ladden spouse poking the taxi call button once. It blinks it's red light whorishly, the sort of light that has the potential to cause epileptic fits in some people...Now imagine the shiny blinking red light ceasing its' taxi-calling and not blinking anymore. Then imagine the same toad of a man opening his mouth and saying to us with nuanced sarcasm "Excuse me, are you waiting for a cab?... Can you press the button, please?" (Read: R U stoopid? Donch no how to press izit, please?)

Waahhhh, that totally stomped, squelched and basically killed any intentions of letting them have the next cab to come along!

I mean seriously, will waiting for a minute or so really kill you?!

I'm not normally a confrontational person and neither is The Sister but in that moment we could feel our tempers bristling and if the idiot had opened his mouth further to ask of us anything else, it was definitely gonna go down, honest to God.

I mean honestly, can you not just press the damn button yourself if it were THAT important to you? You already pressed it once, you obviously can reach the damn thing, you enjoyed pressing it and you obviously felt that it was necessary to do so so as to somehow (I don't especially know HOW) slave-drive a cabbie to drive faster in order to reach the damn taxi stand.

Seriously. COME ON, PEOPLE!

The damn button is for when there are no cabs in sight. The cabs were there; they were on their way. Pressing the damn button isn't gonna magically make all traffic lights green, part the traffic in manner of Moses and the Red Sea and turn the cabs into Men-In-Black type flying cars that will reach you in the next nanosecond, dumbass!

"If you find queuing at the taxi-stop or taxi stand a hassle and prefer to book for a taxi, you can arrange with a taxi company for a taxi driver to pick you up at the taxi-stop, taxi stand or off the road such as at nearby carparks, side roads and in the premises of a building." -Taken from LTA website-

Can't wait? In a hurry? Think you're the only one in the queue who needs to get home? CALL a damn cab.

Idiots make me nauseous. Unreasonable, stupid idiots make me blog and rant.

The next cab that came, I got into with The Sister. The lard-ladden spouse of the louse (hey, it rhymes!) stared at us and I came this close to flipping her the finger for being stupidly well, stupid. But I didn't and neither did The Sister, 'cause we're ladies like that.

I did shake my head at Mrs. CAB (Chao Ah Beng) though. (Read: You sad, sad, moron.)

Note: I have about a dozen un-updated drafts yet to be published. This just struck a chord with me, albeit a highly offensive, discordant one.

SOMETHING'S HAPPENING

2009-06-26T01:28:00.006+08:00

I found this comment attached to a video clip from a relatively old movie that I love, starring two of my most favorite people in Bollywood...I was just thinking of how the comment described exactly what many people have been saying about them for many years...until I read the last line in the comment...

ramos5875 Says:
May 13, 2009 - Kajol and SRK are two people who were made by the Gods for each other. They may be married to other people but they were made for each other.

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They have a rear connection no one can denied.

Cue wild laughter.
What a riot.

Maybe some day we'll all get lucky and meet that someone we'll have a rear connection with.
For now, I'll just laugh it off.
Kwa.

WHIMSICAL

2009-06-22T06:27:00.002+08:00

I still think of you, admittedly not as frequently as before, but you still linger at the back of my mind like the last few strains of a favourite tune, resonating long after the song is done.

I still miss your presence in my life- the banter, the jokes, the conversations, the advice and the jokes.

I still wish that I'd had the opportunity to talk to you and share a final joke with you before you left.

I may not have known you for all of my life but it sure feels like it.

I may not have been the bestest friend you had but you sure were mine.

I may not have been there to see you go, but you see, I will always miss you.

I still truly wish you were still here, Zam, I really do.

Al-Fateha.

IN MEMORIAM...TWO YEARS ON

2009-06-11T19:05:00.004+08:00

A Natural Entertainer

Sincerity and responsibility shone through the
carefree façade of the late Mohammad Rohaizam.
Fellow student teacher Mohammad Rohaizam Bin Tumadi
received the Postgraduate Diploma in Education (Physical
Education) award posthumously during the Teachers
Investiture Ceremony on 10th July 2008. Affectionately known
as ‘Zam’, he passed away on 15th May 2007 from an accident in
Mount Ophir in Johor, Malaysia.

According to a close friend Mohamed Sayadi Bin Mohamed
Nor, Zam was a natural entertainer. To Zam, track and field was
a matter of form than performance. The late Zam could pose
perfectly for hurdles though clearing three hurdles at one go was
no mean feat for this ‘horizontally-challenged’ PE trainee.
Zam also captured the flair of a young Pele with the speed
of an aging Maradona during football drills. In fact, Zam was
best noted for celebrating his goals like Thierry Henry. But
what tickled the hearts of most of his peers, was Zam’s running
commentaries heavily accented in Spanish.

In between and at times during lessons, Zam was full of
‘nonsense’. Sayadi remembered the times when they both
attempted to read their Exercise Physiology text in the library.
Those moments never fail to end up in an afternoon siesta.
However, in times of crunch - someone needing help or where
there was work to be done, Zam managed to accomplish them
all. In short, his sense of responsibility and sincerity always
shone through a carefree façade.

As Sayadi put in words, “Life is so wonderful, so perfect yet
so flawed; so beautiful yet so uncouth, so smooth yet at times
rough. Lord, life is a wonderful thing.”

Rohaizam’s departure was indelibly marked by his peers
and those around him.

A Friend Called Zam

First-year Postgraduate Diploma in Education (Physical Education)
student teacher Mohammad Rohaizam Bin Tumadi (above, left)
passed away on 15 May 2007 from an accident in Mount Ophir
in Johor, Malaysia. His friend and fellow aspiring teacher, Mohamed
Sayadi Bin Mohamed Nor (above, right), shares his heartfelt
reminiscences of a dear friend he affectionately called “Zam”.

Life is so wonderful, so perfect yet so flawed; so beautiful yet so
uncouth, so smooth yet at times rough. Lord, life is a wonderful thing.
I used to take life for granted. I expected and felt entitled to live to a
ripe old age. All changed on 15 May 2007. Zam’s passing sent me into
denial. Tears soon followed. Why him?

At the funeral, Zam’s parents were beyond tears. The sound of a
sobbing mother burying her son breaks your heart. His sister was
putting on a brave front for mum and dad but her eyes betrayed her.
They looked empty, almost lost. Then a realisation hit me. What right
do I have to cry, to grieve, when I only knew him for less than a year?
I felt almost embarrassed to show any emotion.

I first noticed Zam during our year one orientation camp. I was glad
to see him, not because I knew him as a person but because he too
was ‘horizontally challenged’. We ended up in the same class and
became friends. We did what normal guys would do in-between and
at times, during lessons. Football, girls and planning gym workouts
(in a bid to look more like Physical Education teachers) were our
favourite conversation topics.

Zam was a natural entertainer. He did not even need to try. During
track and field, form was more important than performance to Zam.
He could do the perfect pose for hurdles but struggled to clear three
hurdles at one go. Football drills were accompanied by running
commentary complete with a Spanish accent. He played with the flair
of a young Pele and the speed of an aging Maradona. Most notably,
he celebrated his goals just like Thierry Henry. He irritated us and we
loved him for that.

On the first Wednesday of semester two, we had a five-hour break
in-between lessons. Zam brought me to the gym at Jurong East
Stadium. We had a good workout and planned to make this a weekly
routine for the whole semester. We lasted two sessions. The other
Wednesdays were spent in the canteen talking over a plate of chicken
cutlet with spaghetti (Zam’s favourite) followed by an attempt to read
our Exercise Physiology text in the library which never failed to end
in an afternoon siesta within 37 seconds of opening the book.

Zam was full of ‘nonsense’ but when the crunch came, when someone
needed help, when work needed to be done, Zam could get things
done. He was responsible and his sincerity always shone through a
carefree façade.

These little excerpts may mean nothing to those who did not know
him but these little memories are all I have to hang on to Zam. I may
not feel that I have the right to grieve but maybe, just maybe, missing
a friend is fine for me.

On a whim today I decided to Google your name today and came across the above...
Not because I needed to be reminded of you- I still think of you everyday, but to smile at the memories that I have of you and memories that others have shared with me, of you.

You would have been 29 today.

OUR BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER #1

2009-06-06T18:41:00.003+08:00

Found this picture of The Daughter- one of the last snaps taken of her prior to her haircut. LOVE the eyes!

I must say that she is photogenic, no? lol. Though I have no idea where she gets it from- unless it's from my sister, her aunty.

*sighs* Some people have all the luck!

I miss spending time with The Daughter...damn this confinement. I need to be free! lol ;)
Will be back with a vengeance on the 4th of July. For sure.

A TINGE OF

2009-05-21T00:00:00.002+08:00

BLOOD...

A stain, a spot...

Heheh.
Could it be soon?

UPDATE: We are awed and blessed to announce the arrival of our daughter ADYNA ALYA at 0943hrs today :)

ALL I NEED

2009-05-06T17:43:00.005+08:00

All I need to do is look at you and know that it's all good :)

It's all good... with you too :)

UPDATES ET. AL

2009-05-05T08:38:00.007+08:00

Baby

The Little Girl's officially a full term baby as of today...20 days more (or less) and we'll be seeing her, Insya'allah :)

Amazingly, I have failed to realize how much clothes The Daughter actually had as a baby...reality only hit when I excavated her old rompers and onesies from the Toyogo boxes and the cupboard to wash in anticipation of The Little Girl's arrival...According to my mum though, The Daughter had more but we'd given them away and all...and still, over 100 pieces of wearable baby clothing still left ley! Even I don't have that many clothes!

Also, finally, The Little Girl's clothes are ready for packing into the hospital bag, I'm hoping this time round I'll have the confidence to bring her home in the hotsling :) The Husband mentioned getting a new diaper bag to replace the one we've had for The Daughter but I'm vascillating between that and a new bag for myself (lol) because the diaper bag we have is still functioning well and is relatively versatile.

Am thinking of how best to bring The Little Girl home if the swine flu is still around when she makes her appearance.

Boys

The FBIL (Insya'allah!) was involved in a minor motorcycle accident yesterday due to the heavy rain. Really wish he would reconsider riding and save up for a car instead...Not the first time he's had an accident and it really chills my stomach when I hear of such things. Must broach the subject with The Sister...she can get pretty convincing at times :)

Had a dream- was making out with a colleague! OMG.

I'm getting more intolerant of my colleague- the double-jointed sotong of sorts(!)

Girls

Joined an online spree to check out the quality of some online items. Hope The Sister really likes it if and when she gets it :)

Also, bought a bag for the FSIL online. Hope it arrives soon so that we can finally get a-cracking at the dulang hantarans for my brother's upcoming nuptials.

Found out that a colleague has got a less than glamourous past, as we were once wont to believe!

Cut my hair! :)

Twice!

Now I look like this...

And no, The Daughter's not grimacing..She just thought it'd be funny to take pictures with her eyes closed...lol

MISSING THE MOMENTS

2009-05-01T23:45:00.003+08:00

When she'd cheerfully let us tie her hair up...in plaits, no less! :)

When she was still unsteady on her feet and needed us to be always close...

When her jaw would just drop wide open at the sight of things she'd seen for the first time...

And the frowns that were so comical...even though she was only pretending...

Did I tell you that I'm in love with my daughter? :)

Make that two, in less than a month's time, Insya'allah.

OVERHEARD

2009-05-01T08:41:00.008+08:00

'...there's nothing more fulfilling or cathartic than seeing your ex married to a woman damn sure nowhere as hot as you...until you take a look in the mirror and realize, you're nowhere as hot as you once were either!...'

AMEN to that!

lol
lol
lol

But honestly, turns out turnabout's fair play... :)

And no, this does not refer to the ex that really mattered, or the ex that got married recently to the sweetest girl. Honest.

But, in a word- vindicated ;p

CUT!

2009-04-21T09:48:00.004+08:00

Got home yesterday after an early dinner and Pampers buying session with The Husband... I swear, we are so comfortably domestic that our typical SMS reads something like this:

'Whr u, sayang?'
'Just left sch. Mtg me?'
'Ok, whr? Bdok can?'
'Wak, buy Dany's Pampers skali k?'
'K, c u at taxi stand biasa'

lol.
How romantic, hor?

In any case, we both went for a hair cut yesterday. While at the hairdresser's I was toying with the idea of cutting my hair short, yet again, but I only had a trim. I always get these urges to cut my hair short but when I do, there's always that element of regret. I miss my pre-mommy days hair texture :s

Anyway, when I reached home, The Daughter greeted me at the door as usual with her 'Assam-ai-kommm!' which is of course her version of the salaam.

When I got to my room, she followed and started twirling around...and then I noticed!

She'd had a hair cut too!

So now I'm definitely going back to the haridresser's to get my hair cut shorter :)

Pictures will be up when I get the opportunity to BREATHE.

LETTER TO THE WORLD

2009-04-20T14:22:00.004+08:00

This well and truly made me cry.

I thank God all the time for my perfect daughter and pray for another perfect one this time round.

Dear world

I have spent all the years of this wonderful little being's life protecting her from bodily harm and emotional duress.

At times I have failed and have felt less than perfect as a Mother, but I have tried.

I have wiped away her tears when they have had the audacity to mar her cheeks; shared in her triumphs, embraced all her joy and reveled in her laugter.

At times I have felt that I could have and should have done more for her, and I strive to do so each and every day.

I have taught her to be a good little person, but truth be told, at this very moment, there is very little of her that needs improvement, such an angel of a child she can be.

At times I wonder if I have equipped her enough to be her own person, to be honest and truthful, kind and thoughtful- but she is and I'm thankful.

I have tried to be the best Mother that I can be, to nurture a fine human being in this little child of mine, to instill in her optimism and integrity, patience and piety.

At times she slips and I worry, often unnecessarily.

I have seen her saucer-eyed in wonder at the simplest things in life, a butterfly, the moon and the crashing waves that run to the shore.

At times I wonder if she will ever cease to be amazed by the glory of God's creations. I pray not ever.

I have held her hands in times of fear and pray that I always have a hand to extend, to comfort and give whatever she requires.

I have never stopped marveling at the generosity of God in granting me my child.

So today I send this letter out to the world...

Please do not undo all the work The Family and I have done in creating and nurturing our little person.

We are so proud of her, and her ability to empathize and love.

We marvel at the way she sees the world.

We accept that there will be occassions in which she will trip and fall but help her up, if you get there before we do.

Trust in her and her innate goodness, just as we entrust our greatest treasure, to you...

Sincerely,

The Parents

WEEK LONG

2009-04-13T16:20:00.003+08:00

Am horribly sick...Am on a week-long MC, till next Monday :(

Feeling utterly guilty about missing so many lessons but I think I need the break. As the doctor said, 'No sense in getting yourself exhausted again and then having no energy for labor, if and when it comes suddenly...'

Labor...

YIKES.

:(

34 WEEKS

2009-04-12T10:18:00.015+08:00

34 things to remember the past 34 weeks by :)

1. I went from 62kg to 56kg to 70kg...and counting :)

2. Swollen ankles have finally appeared.

3. Lesser stretch marks this time round- horrifically, this means my skin is already elasticized enough to not warrant that extra stretching!

4. The Daugther has a ritual of kissing my belly when I first step into the house. After the kiss, she'll speak to the baby 'Hello adik, ni kakak Adany' :)

5. The Little Girl is most active in the morning between the hours of 7-1o am...

6. She simmers down for a noon-time nap until around 3pm

7. And resumes the Pilates (Nope, no calisthenics this time round!) stretches at around 5pm...

8. There is a period of rest between those hours but her favourite time of day is at 2-4am(!)

9. I strongly suspect she is going to be nocturnal, like me. *die!*

10. I know now that the next time round, I'm sticking with one dedicated gynae at KKH, Clinic A or B.

11. This baby has a taste for luxurious living. She has coerced me into spending money on things I would never otherwise have gotten for myself(!) and convinced me that I need to luxuriate in bed for as many hours in a day as possible!

12. No chugging of bottles upon bottles of Fruit Tree orange juice this time round! At last count, I drank approximately 160 odd bottles of abovementioned orange juice while pregnant with The Daughter *yikes!*

13. Am undeniably weaker and sorely lacking in energy to do ANYTHING this time round.

14. This baby has defied almost all the pregnancy myths and old wives' tales I have ever heard or read about. My bump is compact and high (or whatever the shape people commonly associate with a baby boy bump) and I have relatively clear skin (which a baby girl should have wreaked havoc upon)...the list goes on.

15. I still have heartburn and reflux, even now.

16. I get muscle cramps at the arches of my feet very easily and relatively frequently :s

17. No cravings for anything this time round either. Alhamdulillah.

18. Placenta praevia scare for this pregnancy. Placenta moved to 1.3am above cervical opening at the end of second trimester.

19. Placenta is now in lower posterior location, approximately 4.6cm away from the mouth of the cervix. Insya'allah, delivery will be normal, v****** delivery. Alhamdulillah.

20. I have been slightly off keel throughout this pregnancy. I'm more tempremental at home than in school though.

21. I think I'm goign to enjoy having two girls :) I wasn't too thrilled in the beginning, but think it's rather exciting now. lol.

22. Am strongly suspecting that The Little Girl will be more feminine as compared to The Daughter.

23. The Daughter has convinced herself that The Little Girl is bald, or will be born bald :p

24. The Daughter also cracks herself up by telling her Nenek and Atuk that The Little Girl is 'bogay'. lol.

25. Braxton Hicks is back :s

26. This pregnancy has flown by...even The Husband can attest to this. Just the other day, he remarked in surprise how soon The Little Girl is due....Methinks we're going to miss being pregnant :(

27. I can't wait for my urut sessions with FBIL's (Insya'allah!) mum. The Little Girl has subconciously programmed me to pamper myself...lol

28. I am still nursing The Daughter and I really hope that I can tandem nurse The Daughter and The Little Girl come May/June. That would really be awesome! :)

29. I can truly and honestly say that I have been so harried, I have not had the opportunity to enjoy this pregnancy experience the way I enjoyed carrying The Daughter :s

30. Have decided to go on part-time track next year for a term, and gauge from there if I will go on part-time permanently.

31. I have missed so many days of school this time round I think I can kiss my Good Teacher's Checklist results goodbye :(

32. The 32 week scan finally CLEARLY revealed to us the girly bits that indisputably confirm gender.

33. I have yet to finish with her present...Still a looooooooong ways to go as far as the reading's concerned. I am SO last minute.

34. This baby's supposed to be a Gemini but I would settle for a Taurus if it means she'll get along smashingly with The Daughter :)

SPARKLE

2009-04-09T22:07:00.004+08:00

Heh...Just felt like having something sparkly today... :)

Have finally decided, after a protracted period of pondering and being preposterously preoccupied with thoughts of it, have finally decided (and confirmed) that I shall be doing the dissertation instead of the Critical Enquiry module for the MEd course...Truly hope that I've made the right choice.

UPDATES

2009-04-09T14:25:00.002+08:00

Am 33 weeks along today and the tummy’s getting progressively harder and tauter by the day.

The Little Girl seems to be running out of space despite the fact that I am convinced that she’s smaller than The Daughter ever was at 30 odd weeks.

Have noticed too that unlike The Daughter, this Little Girl seems to wake up at every morning, right when I take a bath to go to school and she reaches a frenzied peak, turning somersaults when I'm in class from 8-10am before settling down and going to sleep. Another favored time frame for her calisthenics routine is between 11pm and 2am when I'm desperately trying to sleep. O well, as long as she’s healthy and growing as she should, at her own rate, I’m going to be happy.

Rest wise, it’s getting increasingly harder to find a comfortable spot to sleep or even sit in. Think me might have to try sleeping upright just so that the pressure’s relieved from my back. Shall wait and see. For now, shall just suffer, grin and bear it…like labor. Lol.

The next ADC scan is on the 14th and I’m praying that everything will turn out better than good, especially where the placenta’s concerned. I hope it’s moved up more since the last scan. I am praying that we can have a fuss free, straightforward, normal birth again this time round.

Am wondering now if I should ask the doctor for 1 month medical leave to rest at home before I deliver...Hmmm...with the exams looming up...tempting!

QUALITY TIME WITH AYAH

2009-04-06T11:15:00.006+08:00

Yesterday was especially exhausting, with a trip to the ILs place where as usual, The Daughter reigned supreme. *rolls eyes*

The Daughter has now been initiated into the world of PS3, having had her first ‘game’ with The Husband. Fight fight game some more ok! See following pictures...ignore the matress and The Daughter's messy hair :)

I came out of the room wondering why it was relatively quiet outside and why the typically tornado-ish toddler was quiet... This was what I found...

It took a while before I could get either one of them to speak...

The Husband: Adany, quick, help ayah!

The Daughter: Adany help ni, Adany help ni...

The Daughter with a small throw pillow propping up her arms...just like her Ayah...She can be such an Ayah's girl...

I like this shot of The Daughter with her tongue stuck out...she was distracted by something on tv :)

I really hope they are not going to make this a habit, this Ayah and Daughter team... *shakes head*

BUMP UP

2009-04-02T15:41:00.002+08:00

Two of my most recent pictures of the bump. Taken last week at Orchird Country Club toilet *lol*

Update on placenta location:

Still only 1.7cm away from the mouth of cervix. Please continue to move, dear placenta...I do so want another easy, hassle free, normal, v****** birth :)

THANK YOU

2009-04-02T11:46:00.003+08:00

The Daughter has always been mega-expressive in exclaiming her excitement over well, almost anything actually so I've made it a point for her to basically write a note of thanks for presents received. Antiquated though the practice may be, I just feel that its good practice for the future especially with The Daughter inherently disliking being forced to say anything to strangers at this stage, regardless of what they say to her or give her as 'bait'...lol

In any case, was on course just this Tuesday with my SH and HOD and ended up being the appointed scribe for the duration of the workshop. After lunch, my HOD handed me a plastic bag with something inside for Adany because 'Her mummy has been such a great help all morning!'

Heh. Rewarding The Daughter for The Mother's hard work...lol

But, it was worth it. Adany was so excited to receive a 'present' from Auntie Mabel that she had no problems sitting down and scribbling her 'thank you'note...

I love my daughter. She's such a treasure :)

I hope her sister will be just as equally precocious and intelligent, Insya'allah.

2 YEARS 5 MONTHS...

2009-03-28T02:03:00.006+08:00

and The Daughter has a new friend...

See that pink doll sleeping next to her during their afternoon nap? That's 'Bintu' (as named by my father!) and The Daughter has been lugging the itty thingy all over the house, hence creeping my sister out of her mind *lol*

Also, I'm still amazed by the lashes that The Daughter has. So the very the lebat. See...

Nice, huh? Glad she's gotten them from my siblings, both of whom can model for mascara ads and not from me, whose lashes resemble a worn out feather duster with botak spots galore! :s

Shall end off with a picture of The Daughter as she reads a book. Think she can look pretty intellectual, ey?

We love you, darling! :)

FEVER FEVER

2009-03-21T21:52:00.005+08:00

The Daughter is down and out with fever.

She's been feverish, clingy and has been vomiting her milk the whole of today :(

Gave her PediaLtye just to replenish the fluids lost and realized that The Daughter is very wary of oddly colored drinks...she just flat out refused to drink the blue PediaLyte but guzzled down the red and orange.

Tried to think of what caused sudden bout of vomitting...too tired perhaps after a whole day at the library on Thursday and swimming yesterday, perhaps? Quite likely. Sad that she unwell, considering she had so much fun at the library being surrounded by books and all, and made a four-year-old friend coincidentally named Aliah as well...

The shelves that she pratically pounced on when she first saw them.

Love this picture :)

She looks so confident and kakak-kakak, after having chosen the book that she wanted for herself.

Struggling to open the book and showing The Mother what caught her eye...What could it be?

"It's elphant, mama!"...Ahhhh,so that's why!

Explaining a point to her new friend...with jabs of the finger to emphasize her point. And all done in her kiddified English, which is basically just "I say, you say, I not fat, you not fat...'

I swear. That's what it sounded like.

In any case, I hope she recovers soon. I'm just not used to seeing my little hurricane all lembik like taugeh layu... Poor baby :(

STROLL AWAY WITH ME

2009-03-17T00:50:00.001+08:00

Bought a Peg Perego Pliko 3 stroller for my girls. The word on the grapevine is that it's a good brand to invest in.

My verdict?

At approximately 8kg, it's heavier than what I'm used to as far as strollers are concerned, but stable and SMOOOOTH in terms of delivery. I like. Very much I like.

I can now push The Daughter (who is incidentally pushing 15 kg) without nary an effort and without feeling winded afterward. Now all that's left is to initiate The Parents into accepting and liking the P3! Mother is slightly intimidated by the sheer bulk of it and my dad has stoically refused to comment. I think he's secretly wondering how many more strollers I'm going to get after this!

Had toyed with the ides of a tandem stroller or a side-by-side twin stroller for The Daughter and The Little Girl but could not find anything suitable that caught my eye.

Update: Saw a tandem stroller on Mothercare website, not bad looking! On the wishlist now!

CONGRATULATIONS...

2009-03-14T12:34:00.008+08:00

Mrs Iqbal and Mr Iqbal!

(technically Halalified yesterday! Sorry!)

*No pictures of anything from the ceremony...This was taken from Yahoo images*

Beautiful bride.

Saw her before the solemnization ceremony when she was being made up by Yaqyn. She was glowing gorgeously. I was all fidgety and excited for her. Despite being almost 7.5 months preggers I kept getting the urge to grab her by the hands and jumping up and down! lol.

Had to curb my excitement and refrain from taking any pictures of the bride, my sworn sister from yonks ago, because I wanted her to put up her wedding pictures on her own Multiply site first- I can always rip pictures off her site later! *grins*

I remember how she's always been there for me and how she'd dish out very Bridget Jones-like advice whenever I called her up for a shoulder to cry on and how our lives seem to intertwine at weird junctures and all. I think about all the things we've talked about and the many little and not-so-little ways in which she'd touched my heart and I knew that I just HAD to see her before she officially became a Missus and I was glad I managed to do just that.

I know this post is rather lame and very very straightforward and to the point. Which is exactly the point. My sworn sister doesn't need a long, glorified post to bear testimony to the beautiful person that she is. Just the facts will suffice.

And I stand by my words "You've always been beautiful sis, it's just that now you can finally see it for yourself." *smiles*

Here's to new beginnings and a lifetime and more of love everlasting!

NOSTALGIA

2009-03-11T22:31:00.004+08:00

I do miss being at Desaru.

Miss spending time with The Daughter, the little duckling.

Saw old pictures of Desaru and found this

I miss such moments :s

And yes, ANONYMOUS, she tak habis2 ngan Abang Afiq dia ;)

And BOY! Almost 30 weeks ley!

SO THE MAK NENEK

2009-03-10T10:14:00.005+08:00

Her current favourite lines are numerous, varied, bilingual, taken (and spoken) utterly out of context, which makes them undeniably even more hilarious :)

"Mama ni, tak agak-agak!"
"Utama di satu!"
"I smack you!"
"Kakak tak go work today. Kakak stay home with Mama."

Her repertoire of audition songs for Singapore Idol may possibly include the following:

"Two little blackbids sitting on a wall
One named Peter, one named Paul
Fly away Peter, fly away Paul
Come back Peter, come back Paul"

"Saya ada kuda di buat oleh ayah
Leher pakai tali kuda ku mau lari
Kuda saya garang ekornya sangat panjang
Kuda ayah buat dari pelepah pisang"

Both songs sung with gusto, repeatedly. She loves Twinkle Twinkle Little Star as well but only the last line is sung with enthusiasm so I guess it doesn't count.

And her coup de grace took place yesterday.

On the bed with Nenek and Atuk (my parents), she climbed over my mum to slide in between her grandparents. My mum told her "Ni husband nenek." (This is Grandma's husband)

Adany replied "Not Nenek husband, Adany's husband"

My parents would not stop laughing! lol!

Am unbelievably in love with The Daughter. And all the unbelievably mak nenekish things that she says.

MAJORLY PISSED

2009-02-23T00:00:00.005+08:00

In this crazy life...and in these crazy times, '

it's you... it's you...you make me feel...

you're every line, you're every word,

you're everything...

Am supremely pissed with all the last minute changes

Am thinking of telling everyone to go fug themselves

Am supremely annoyed with every new email I get

Am wishing May were here, and fast

Am just bloody pissed.

Thank god for my girls

SNAPSHOT & TANGENTIAL THOUGHTS

2009-02-21T22:26:00.004+08:00

I have just realized how wide The Daughter's forehead is. lol.

Hairstyle courtesy of Auntie Sasha. Picture courtesy of Mak "Aa-kill-ah!" *grins*

I miss her being small and cuddly and small and squishy and SMALL :s

The Daughter is downright excited at the prospect of having her very own little baby to play with. She has taken to approaching people's strollers, peering in and cooing 'Baby!' to the little one bundled within. And, she has fiercely declared that she shall protect The Little Girl and me from Cicak-Man...lol

She's amazing, really. Love her to bits. Even when she's annoying the hell out of me. Heh.

26 WEEKS AND COUNTING

2009-02-17T11:15:00.004+08:00

The third trimester has been tiring and trying.

Extremely so.

My back is out of wack and methinks its high time I get Auntie Nisha to give me an urut session.

I can't seem to find a comfortable resting position and even turning from side to side is a chore accompanied by much grunting and heaving.

I really fail to recall how I avoided all these when carrying Adany. It couldn't be that I am having selective memory, right?

The Bump has been growing (and shrinking!) according to the amount of rest I get every night. The tautness comes back each time I'm extra tired.

Things have been a whirlwind in school. Common Test is coming up in a week and in the words of my HOD's sms- 'You have shattered the myth that it is something easy to plan for.'

I am thinking of whether part-time teaching will serve my needs better once The Little Girl is here. I think it will.

I am badly in need of a good night's sleep; uninteruppted by The Daughter's milk routine and thoughts (or nightmares!) of school.

and,

I REALLY need to learn to enjoy my Neverfull :)

25 WEEKS TODAY

2009-02-08T10:00:00.002+08:00

The Little Girl's getting bigger and The Daughter's getting more and more excited about the baby :)

The Little Girl's been kicking and fidgeting a fair bit since last night...Poor baby probably had a sugar rush from the things that I was snacking on yesterday as I did my marking.

The Daughter's currently asleep in my room, on my bed, after sneaking off her bed and into my room at about 5am.

The Daughter's smelling heavenly as she stretches and flexes like an odd worm with her belly button bared.

To think, in about three months' time, I'm going to have TWO of such worms rooming in with me! Excitedness!

I feel blessed. I am blessed, indeed :)

OF DREAMS AND SUCH

2009-02-08T09:00:00.008+08:00

My tendency to have weird dreams whilst pregnant is back and as far as I am concerned, I've just had a GOLDEN PHIZZWIZARD of a dream last night *can't stop smiling*

I was a vampire hunter.

A vampire hunter. Can you believe it?

And I had a partner, who eventually became a lover, who resembled (but I don't think it WAS) this man...

Hahaha! Now you can probably imagine why it was a GOLDEN PHIZZWIZARD for me! lol.

In any case, the dream wasn't one of those 'forget 'em when you wake up' kind... There was a plot with rich details in terms of places and characters, events and action sequences. Let me elaborate...

I was a vampire hunter (this part was just a given, no prior information as to why or how I became one) and I was given the assignment of seeking out the various covens and their hideouts in the immediate vicinity of where I lived and worked.

The first assignment I was given led me to of all places, a kiddy store that sold kid's stuff like balloons and costumes for Halloween. There, a family of vampires were exterminated by yours truly and I ended up trailing the final vampire to a cheap ABC-like store selling groceries and stuff. Things got to a head pretty fast and I was forced to try and find a safe place to hide and re-group. I was on the roof trying to escape from some men (not vampires) who were trying to catch me. I was finally cornered behind a row of hanging laundry (Yes, very not glamorous, I know!) and was then brought to see the leader of the men who had found me.

Nothing much transpired from our conversation but pretty soon I was established to be an ally and was sent out on an assignment to cover another hunter who was already on the assignment. Later I discovered that the agent looked like this...

Ok lah, so we were both taken aback when we discovered that we had both been sent on the same assignment. The tension between us so tangible I think it just made the assignment we were on that much harder to complete.

We'd been sent to an Art gallery which was a front for a vampire coven. The thing about the Art gallery was, the sinister silence of the place magnified the heartbeat of any human who entered the place, causing them to be immediately easily identified. Of course, with the hum and buzz of the 'visitors' to the gallery (and also partly the fact that my partner and I were cool cucumbers, ahem), we were able to slip undetected into the inner sanctum of the gallery where we were finally discovered. By the head vampire, no less. An over-Botoxed blood-sucker who resembled Jocyelyn Wildenstein not to think of it. Heh.

Don't ask me why I kept getting discovered or caught etc. Every story must have its sequel and what fun would there be if I was successful everytime I went on an assignment anyway, right?

Right, so in any case, the partner and I had to make our escape while killing off as amny vampires as we could in the process. Scene wise, think Mr. and Mrs. Smith - the scene where they're at the departmental store surrounded by SWAT and the shoot-out takes place.

As we run out of the art gallery, we find that there is a need for a new ride so we boost a car and hightail it back to (supposedly) drop me off at my own headquarters.

Somehow, on the way back, the sexual tension escalates just a weebittoomuch (lol) and we end up making a u-turn and heading off to presumably do something wanton, somewhere...LOL!

And that was my GOLDEN PHIZZWIZARD...There are more details of course, but the magic ceases when it translates to words so I shall just store it under memories. But what a way to start my day :)

What a way indeed!

WHAT A WAY INDEED!

MUMMY MOMENTS

2009-02-03T21:03:00.010+08:00

My back has been causing me a fair bit of grief for the past few weeks. It's gotten pretty bad to such an extent that I can't really stand up straight when I get out of bed every morning to go to school. Thing is, the tummy's not TOO big. Even my MIL commented that this time round, the tummy's smaller than when I was carrying The Daughter.

I don't even know if I'm recalling things correctly, but I'm pretty sure Adany was much bigger yet somehow lighter to carry than The Little Girl...Hmmm...

Adany at about 4.5-5 months

The Little Girl (as of today, 24 weeks and 2 days old) at roughly 6 months

Doesn't look like there's much difference, right? The gynae told me that The Little Girl is situated to my right- a fact that I already know since that is where all the poking and stretching and jabbing takes place normally. I wonder if she (the baby, not my gynae!) intends to change position later on and make the full 360 degree circumbulation in the womb...Hahaha!

In any case, finally managed to upload the short clip of The Daughter reciting the 'Moon Dua' as she calls it. She also 'sings' this old Malay song called 'Burung Kakak Tua' with dubious enunciation of some key words, but still! So ignore my voice in the clip and take a listen!

And oh! Abang Afiq that she fondly and cheekily refers to in the clip is my sister's boyfriend's brother...who is 17 this year I think. The Daughter harbors a not-so-secret crush on him. lol.

Ah, to have such moments, it makes Mummyhood all the more damn worthwhile! :)

TOO FULL vs NEVERFULL :)

2009-01-31T01:13:00.009+08:00

Too full from Sakura International at Downtown East EHub with dear dear colleagues who have become more family than friends.

and

Neverfull from online, where else. I succumb. lol. After much angsting about the price. As usual. I hope I enjoy it when I get it.

and

Never Too Full-- my darling Little Girl, constantly moving and searching for a mroe comfortable spot. To practice yoga I think. I love you, darling. Before I even meet you, I know I'm going to love you.

I'm happy. Until the craving to get the Mahina XL (YESSSSsssss!) or something in the Minilin collection or a diaperbag in monogram(NOOOOooooo!!) strikes- then I'm in trouble! lol.

And oh, happier still that I managed to get The Sister this:

I hope she likes it when she finally lays her hands on it! lol.

Picture credits to lennajohan :)

HUMDRUM

2009-01-28T18:15:00.003+08:00

I have been officially awake for the past 24 hours.

Work keeps piling up and my mind simply can't switch off.

Lower back pain prevents me from standing up straight.

Ankles have started to swell. Yikes.

And I cannot imagine losing a child and living to blog about it :(

Help, I think.

FIT TO BURST

2009-01-26T16:01:00.003+08:00

The tummy's been rather taut of late. Extremely taut, in fact, thus causing me much grief when it comes to finding a comfortable position to lie in. I also seem to get more breathless, more easily now than before and lying supine seems to increase that breathless sensation.

The boobies are also developing. Some mornings I wake up feeling as though my n*****s are on fire. Those days I really feel like crying because, how to wear bra like that ley?? And it's not as though I can afford to go without one unless of course I harbor secret intentions of letting my boobies stretch down to my toes~ which I don't incidentally! lol

I find myself burping up my food more and more nowadays. Personally, I'm nauseated each time it happens but there isn't much I can do to stem the revolting experience seeing as how my digestive system seesm to be working in slow motion nowadays. Instead of an hour or so to digest my food, I am now being kept awake three to four hours after I eat simply because the food just isn't going down!

The Daughter is more clingy nowadays. Find myself sleeping next to her each time I put her to bed because she refuses to let me leave, preferring instead to sniff my inner wrist or my forearm until she dozes off. During the day she will constantly follow me around as I do my work or even try to convince me not to do work and to sit with her as she plays, reads or watches her favorite Iqra' vcd.

I have more to update but shall cease and desist from blogging until I feel better. The long weekend has been exhausting.

FOOT FEET FETAL

2009-01-22T14:19:00.002+08:00

The Little Girl has been moving ALOT these past few weeks. It's almost as though she can't seem to find a comfortable spot and has to frequently adjust her position just so she can jab me harder in the ribs with her appendages. lol.

Even as I'm typing this, The Little Girl has a foot lodged up my right rib. It has been there for much of today, actually.

I wonder what a baby does and thinks about when it has assumed the heads-down position. Don't they get nauseous??! lol.

Now back to my Nutella :)

BEAUTIFUL

2009-01-22T09:07:00.011+08:00

Have I ever mentioned that I think pregnant women are simply beautiful?

Ok, so you have models who are pretty to look at, sensual and sexy; you have brides to be like my long time acquaintance now colleague who's marrying her first love in June and is starting to have that gorgeous, radiant bridal glow; you have naturally good-looking women who can waltz around sans makeup and still look good but me... I still maintain that pregnant women are just simply about the most beautiful women around :)

No, in case you're wondering, no, I'm not saying I'm beautiful or anything like that, but I do FEEL beautiful pregnant. Felt it when I was blossoming beautifully with The Daugther and still feel it now as I grow slowly but surely (Insya'allah!) with The Little Girl. I think it's got something to do with that warm, fuzzy, snuggly feeling you get as you watch your tummy protrude more and more each week even as your body makes space to accomodate the bub.

It also helps that most pregnant women have this radiance that no makeup can duplicate (in fact, sometimes make up isn't even necessary!), they have this exhausted look on their faces but it is an exhaustion that somehow mirrors a satisfaction in the knowledge that the fatigue is all for a good cause. It also doesn't help that by the time they 'show', the pregnant ladies are quite in a jolly mood with morning sickness a thing of the not-too-distant past and appetite is back (happy people don't have issues with eating).

Maybe I'm biased.
Maybe I love being pregnant too much.

Maybe I just love looking at other pregnant women.

Maybe I'm biased because I love being pregnant and I love watching other pregnant women.

Maybe, just maybe it's all that.

But whatever the reason, how can you not smile when you see a pregnant woman who looks like this?

Or this?
Or this?

Or this?

And, take a look at this...

Yes, Hillary and Jen are svelte and slender and toned and all that, but doesn't pregnant Rachel just simply G.L.O.W?!!!

*sighs*

Love love love being pregnant and pregnant women.

But not pregnant men. lol. Private joke. lol.

P/s: Congratulations to redplush&husband on the arrival of your triplets! :) Let the mania begin! And congratulations too to my colleague Jo and her precious baby boy!

BUMP UPDATES

2009-01-20T07:55:00.003+08:00

22 weeks as of today. The Little Girl is very active, moving ever so often and jabbing me with her foot/feet and elbow(s). Heh. Kinda cool actually, and like I mentioned before, ever so comforting.

She (and I) are finally gaining (albeit a little bit of) weight. Think I weigh in at about 62-63kgs now so that's a 4-5kg increase from my weight in first trimester.

I've taken to Nutella in a way never before imaginable. I now snack on it straight from the jar. Fingers, teaspoon, tablespoon...you name it, I've used it to scoop the delectable spread into my mouth. It has reached a point where even The Daughter will sidle up to me and crinkle her pesek nose the way only she can and ask 'Mama makan apa tu?' (Mama, what are you eating?). Terlalu cute la she. lol.

I love both my girls :)
Can't wait to see The Little Girl again on the third of next month when I go for the scan. Gives me some time yet to fatten her up a little. lol.

Now, back to marking!

MONDAY MOODS

2009-01-19T09:31:00.002+08:00

Having mee siam for breakfast and Little Girl has been moving, stretching, jabbing and kicking for quite a while now. What this Little Girl has been doing in there I don't know but she is definitiely more active than her sister, The Daughter aka Little Big Girl.

Am enjoying the pokes and jabs and kicks and stretches though...It really helps reassure me that the Little Girl is doing well on the inside eventhough she's pretty small to look at from the outside.

Having been angsting about the Little Girl's size and the fact that to date, after having lost about 6kg in my first trimester, I've only gained about 3kg :( Quite worried that I'm not getting enough nutrients for the baby and that's why she's not as big as she ought to be. O well. Must eat more. And damn, again forgot to eat my folic acid this morning!

Will update later, my mee siam's getitng cold! lol.

ANOTHER WEIRD DREAM

2009-01-18T12:13:00.002+08:00

Approaching the end of my 21st week and the weird dreams have yet to diminish in type and frequency.

Just last night I dreamt that I was expecting twins.
Yep, twins.

The hospital told me that they were twin boys but then a later scan revealed that they were twin girls...( if you know pregnancy and detailed scans, you know that this is practically unheard of and highly improbable)...then, when I finally gave birth to them, I had...

One BOY
and
One GIRL

Cute right?

But the damn hospital forgot to take note of who the older twin was...lol

Right now though, I'm pretty content with my little girl #2... whose name has finally been settled. I think.

She'll be here in about 4 months or so. This pregnancy feels like it's almost ending even before it's really sunk in. Hahaha... Guess with a tornado-like two year old eventhing's at whirlwind speed!

Can't wait to meet you Baby#2 :)

2009-01-14T14:03:00.000+08:00

OVER THE MOON!

2009-01-14T07:57:00.002+08:00

The Daughter had a stellar (or should I say lunar?!) moment yesterday at about ten at night.

She was at the window with my sister scoping out the moon which kept disappearing behind the clouds, much to her chagrin.

After a while the duo decided to let the moon be and proceeded to the living room to watch tv.

At this point, The Daugther suddenly looked up at my sister and gleefully intoned 'Nampak moon baca "Allah Humma Salli Ala Muhammad"...' (Read: See moon, read 'Allah Humma Salli Ala Muhammad')

WAAAAH! I so proud can?!

She was 2years, 2months, 2weeks and 2days old yesterday and reciting that line was truly, truly a milestone for her and for the whole family, who all burst out in applause.

Granted, my sister and The Parents have been training The Daughter to recite that each time she saw the moon but yesterday was the first time that she recited it word-perfect, without prompting, all by herself. *flips over backwards*

I so proud can?! lol. Alhamdulillah.

So excited was I that I immediately smsed The Husband who was on the flight back from Bangkok. But ah, his typical rilek reply 'So clever'. Aisssshhh!

Yeap, so that's my update. I'm still smiling as I type this. Hehe.

TWICE BLESSED

2009-01-13T09:44:00.002+08:00

and many times over...

The Daughter's exactly 2 years, 2 months, 2 weeks and 2 days old today :)

The Daughter #2's exactly 21 weeks exactly today :)

The Husband will be home tonight from his 2nd trip to Bangkok with his friends :)

IN A CONUNDRUM

2009-01-12T12:28:00.003+08:00

The Baby's name has yet to be decided and seeing as how The Husband is away at Baiyoke Sky Hotel in Bangkok having a stupendous time tanning by the poolside, I feel guilty about smsing him the choices that I have narrowed done for this little P-Nut...

Hmmm...

Anyways, here goes the list (in no order of preference!):

Audra (??)
Adyna (pious)
Arysa (bright)
Aaira (noble, respectful)
Alyka (love)
and
Alyshba (pretty)

Before he left, The Husband vehemently refused to even consider Alyshba eventhough I think it's a very unique baby name, this side of the world.

I have my preference of course, though if I had any say in it, we'd be considering a different set of names altogether. lol.

Shall now source for more names and then present The Husband with the list when he comes back tomorrow. Yipeeee! :)

DISTINCT FEAR

2009-01-12T12:21:00.004+08:00

Now I am stressed...

The distinction rate for O Level English in my school 49.7%!

The distinction rate for O Level E. Lit in my school 83+%!

Isn't that ball-crushingly crazy?! The highest EVER distinction rate for both subjects ley. Wowza.

Kudos many times over to the Sec 4 team of English & E.Lit teachers, man.

Now I am stressed...

THE LOWDOWN

2009-01-11T08:56:00.005+08:00

The Husband's away in Bangkok for his much anticipated trip with three friends :s

The Wife is feeling antsy. Shopping beckons and BK's Mexican drumlets too ;p

The Daughter is sound asleep in my room, gently snoring and heavenly smelling :)

The Baby's kinda settled down for the day, having wriggled so much in the last few hours :)

The Day looms ahead in anticipation of tomorrow's chaos brought about by over-wrought 'O' Level results-receivers.

The Nutella of gigantic, ginormous notoriety is 2/3's empty *lol*

The Locks, newly shorn look terrifyingly alien, atop my head. Hopes The Husband won't notice. LOL.

The Marking remains to be done.

The Week ahead promises to be better.

The Life could not be less perfect.

and finally, a picture for today...

The Daughter, practising her sisterly duties on her Uncle Baby

GENDER CONFIRMED!

2009-01-06T13:59:00.003+08:00

We know what we're having!

Say a pre-emptory hello to The Daughter #2! :)

Went for the scan at KK ADC this morning followed by a quick visit to the doctor. According to her, The Baby's a little bit on the small side but at only 20 weeks, it's not much to be concerned about. Only thing that's niggling at me is the fact that this time round, I've got the placenta lying low somewhere close to the middle of the womb.

So Baby, you and me, we've got 20 weeks or so to get that placenta moving and in the correct location, ok? Jia you! :)

The Husband and I asked Adany what we should name The Baby and she has requested that we name her Baby Adik Arysa. Hmmm....we shall see...

Arysa Alya Bte Mohammad Fadzly? There's a ring to that, no?
Now, to find out if it has meaning.

RANDOM TAG FROM RANDOM BLOG

2009-01-06T00:19:00.005+08:00

Only because I'm bored.

1. Name one person who made you laugh last night
The Daughter

2. What were you doing at 0800?
Working on my lesson preparation

3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Bloghopping *sheepish*

4. What happened to you in 2008?
I got pregnant with #2 :)

5. What was the last thing you said out loud?
Wah lau eh...pain sia...

6. How many beverages did you have today?
Two...Grass jelly and plain water. Darn it, must go drink more fluids!

7. What color is your hairbrush?
WHAT hairbrush?!

8. What was the last thing you paid for?
A cab ride home

9. Where were you last night?
At home, putting The Daughter to sleep

10.What color is your front door?
White

11.Where do you keep your change?
Zippered inner pocket of any bag I carry

12.What's the weather like today?
Windy

13.What's the best ice-cream flavor?
Chocolate chip

14.What excites you?
Life

15.Do you want to cut your hair?
Yes, but am mortified it will be a catastrophe...yet again

16.Are you over the age of 25?
Yes

17.Do you talk a lot?
When I feel the need to

18.Do you watch the O.C.?
Nope

19.Do you know anyone named Steven?
Steven Lim...? But not personally.

20.Do you make up your own words?
All the time

21.Are you a jealous person?
Nope

22.Name a friend whose name starts with the letter 'A'.
Adri

23.Name a friend whose name starts with the letter 'K'.
Khairani

24.Who's the first person on your received call list?
The Husband

25.What does the last text message you received say?
I'm on my way home

26.Do you chew on your straw ?
Sometimes

27.Do you have curly hair?
Not where you can see it...lol...TMI, sorry!

28.Where's the next place you're going to?
Bed

29.Who's the rudest person in your life?
JJPWC

30.What was the last thing you ate?
Nutella

31.Will you get married in the future?
Done that

32.What's the best movie you've seen in the past 2 weeks?
Star Wars- Revenge of the Sith

33.Is there anyone you like right now?
Yes

34.When was the last time you did the dishes?
Yesterday

35.Are you currently depressed?
Nope

36.Did you cry today?
Nope

37.Why did you answer and post this?
Because I'm bored

WISH I WERE THERE

2009-01-05T10:35:00.008+08:00

Snapshots of The Family's rendevous to The Pulai, Desaru *wistful*

The Parents, at Tanah Merah Ferry Terminal.

The annexed portion of The Pulai.

Our unexpected balcony dweller. Huge, it was.

The view of the pool from the balony in our room on the fifth floor.

Further out and the sea awaits.

While the pool again calmly beckons.

The trees that line the jetty at Tanjong Belungkor

and The Daughter, all tanned and giggly in the ferry on our way home.

Such simple things are what my favorite holidays are made of...

THE BROTHER'S WEDDING AND SUCH

2009-01-05T10:24:00.003+08:00

So we went over and after 6 years of dating,

The Date's finally set

The Rings finally bought

The Caterer's finally confirmed

The Fiance's finally reserved

What else is there left to do but wait. Kinda like labor, no? *chuckles*

Welcome to The Family, soon :)

NUTS ABOUT NUTELLA

2009-01-05T09:54:00.008+08:00

I have been wolfing down/ guzzling Nutella like no one's business the past few days. As per my previous pregnancy I've had no cravings but there is also the very obvious lack of desire to consume orange juice.

When carrying The Daughter, I would consume 2-3 bottles of orange juice per day. It got to the point that when I finally had the sense to collect the plastic bottles, I ended up with a few hundred. I recycled some of them by filling them with sweets to give my students but there's still about 120 bottles left. I suspect these my mother will use as containers for the kiddies' sweets at The Brother's wedding at the end of this year. More on that later...

Back to Nutella.

I did not know they sold the damn thing in anything larger than what I normally buy until The Sister brought home a large bottle yesterday. And by large I mean HUMUNGOUS lar! Ok, granted, not as huge-ass as this lah

but big enough hokay.

This, is the small jar half-filled with Nutella that I polished off while typing out a quiz for my kids. Note the size as compared to the lollipop.

This, is the humungous thingy that my sister bought from God knows where. Big, right?!

See the damn thing!

And now, as compared to the normal Nutella jar and it's kith and kin.

That's the small one on the left, with the standard larger sized jar filled with condensed milk on the right and the monstrous one in the middle.

I took a couple of pictures using my handphone but seriously, you have to see it to realize how big it is compared to the normal sized Nutella jar.

I am still amazed that they have it in such sizes.

When I have my own home, this shall be a staple man. Confirm! lol.

EMBRACING CHRONIC OPTIMISM

23 JANUARY 2012

IN MY HEART

HAPPY 6th...

AL-FATEHA

WHAT NO ONE UNDERSTANDS

I MISS YOU

AL-FATEHA

IF TEARS COULD...

REMEMBERANCE

IN A LIMBO

AND THEIRS IS NOT TO QUESTION WHY

HEY YOU

IN MY MAKEUP POUCH

EEEEEE= EMCEE

STOP.PERIOD.END

TWEETING ALL MY THOUGHTS

WOW

AL-FATEHA

FULL HOUSE - GEU DEH JI GEUM

MY CURRENT OBSESSION

OH MY GOD, RAIN!

LOOKS LIKE...

UP!

CALLED UP

I SAW TODAY

THE ALYAS

THE LITTLE ONE

AL-FATEHA

PATIENTLY PAINTING

WEIGHT! WEIGHT!

MUSIC MONDAY

VINDICATED

TRUE OR FALSE?

YOUR FIRST TIME

SO PROUD

I AM BLESSED

HOT STUFF :)

SOMETHING'S GOTTA GIVE

EXCUSE MY FRENCH

*HORRIFIED SCREAM*

MUSIC MONDAY

LOVING MADLY

MUSIC MONDAY

OPEN HOUSE

HAPPY 3rd SWEETHEART!

MONDAY MUSIC

5 MONTHS ON

GOOD TIMES :)

MONDAY MUSIC

PET PEEVE!

PUSHING BUTTONS

SOMETHING'S HAPPENING

WHIMSICAL

IN MEMORIAM...TWO YEARS ON

OUR BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER #1

A TINGE OF

ALL I NEED

UPDATES ET. AL

MISSING THE MOMENTS

OVERHEARD

CUT!

LETTER TO THE WORLD

WEEK LONG

34 WEEKS

SPARKLE

UPDATES

QUALITY TIME WITH AYAH

BUMP UP

THANK YOU

2 YEARS 5 MONTHS...

FEVER FEVER

STROLL AWAY WITH ME

CONGRATULATIONS...

NOSTALGIA

SO THE MAK NENEK

MAJORLY PISSED

SNAPSHOT & TANGENTIAL THOUGHTS

26 WEEKS AND COUNTING

25 WEEKS TODAY

HORRIFIED SCREAM